How do you say “Como se dice”?

In high school, I studied French. I loved how it sounded. I loved learning a new language. I got good grades. When it came to having a conversation, though, it was like a fog rolled through my brain. Finding the right words and correctly conjugating the verbs to say what I wanted to say was HARD. I didn’t want to make a mistake, didn’t want to sound foolish. When I had the opportunity to go to France, I was too nervous about misspeaking to use much French at all.

In college, I wanted a fresh start with a new language. I enrolled in Russian. And then someone told me it was one of the most difficult languages to learn. I got nervous and switched to Spanish. I liked it and did well, but beyond the classroom I had no chance to speak it.

My senior year, I decided to take Danish. A couple years later, I spent a few days in Copenhagen. I was determined to use my Danish without fear. Every single time I tried, the Dane would respond, “I speak English.” Sigh.

A good example

Fast forward 25 years when I met my wonderful husband. He started learning English as an elementary student in Mexico City. He’d lived in the U.S. for over 10 years and worked with the public every day, but he still made mistakes when he spoke English. What I noticed more than a wrong pronoun or preposition, though, was his absolute fearlessness in communicating.

I was inspired to follow his lead. As I learned new Spanish words, I used them whenever I could. My dog quickly became bilingual. At dinnertime, I would ask her, “Tienes hambre?” And when she barked her ear-piercing bark, I’d tell her, “Cállate!”

I picked up new words and some of my college Spanish floated back to me. I wove them into my regular conversations with David and the kids. I used to say I spoke toddler Spanish: using the limited number of words and phrases I knew, combined with gestures and exaggerated facial expressions.

One parlor game I liked to play with David’s family was to listen to them talk in Spanish and then guess what they were talking about. I was mostly wrong, but we did get a good laugh out of it and, more importantly, it made me an active listener.

The moment of truth

The night before David and I went on our first trip to Mexico, I made a bet with my daughter. I asked her how long she thought I could last before I had a meltdown from being totally immersed in Spanish. I thought I could hang in there at least 3 days. My daughter said I’d last 1 day. She won.

Everyone I met was so kind to me. I tried to stay relaxed. I tried to enjoy the atmosphere and smile and nod. I tried to use my Spanish when I could but found that by the time I could put together a sentence that would contribute to a conversation, the moment had passed. People were talking about something else.

After a few days, I found my groove: I listened actively, used Spanish when I could, and excused myself when I got tired.

Mejor y mejor (Better and better)

I came home more confident in my Spanish skills, but I was determined to improve.

I’d gotten as far as I could go with my previous method of picking up Spanish words randomly from David. I decided it was time for a more formal course of study. With kids and a full-time job, though, I wanted something flexible. I chose to subscribe to Babbel, a language-learning app I can use from my phone.

I can’t say enough good things about Babbel:

• It teaches with a variety of learning tools
• The lessons are relevant
• Words are repeated enough to sink in without getting boring
• Units are a manageable length (about 15 – 20 minutes)

A few months after I started Babbel, David’s parents came to visit. David had to work one night while I was home with his parents. I was a little nervous about how we’d manage to converse for long since their English is about as good as my Spanish.

Thanks to my recent studies, a little wine, and David’s brave example, we talked all evening. David found us still sitting at the dining table, chatting away, when he got home.

I’m hopeful that the next time we’re in Mexico I’ll last longer than a day before I get overwhelmed. Think my daughter will care to make a wager?