5 observations on what makes a Mexican mom tick.
David and I dated for almost a year before I met his mother.
During that time, he liked to tell me stories about her:
- How she would put his uneaten dinner in the blender and give it back to him as a smoothie–and there was no saying no to drinking it at that point
- How she ran her own school bus service for families in their Mexico City suburb
- How she tolerated his rowdy high school parties, as long as he cleaned up and put the furniture back afterwards
- How she spent every Wednesday in the school office in an effort to keep David’s antics to a dull roar
The picture he drew was of a mother who was equal parts playful and strict. In return, she inspired the respect and adoration of her boys.
Mighty Mom
I was cruising the internet one day and came across some superhero phone cases. Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Captain America–David loves them all. I thought it would be fun to get him one of the cases, but I couldn’t remember which superhero was his favorite. So I texted him:
Wait… what? (I really was thinking it was Captain America.)
He didn’t get a phone case (no mom-themed ones in stock), but he gave me insight into the place Mexican moms hold in their children’s hearts. As David’s cousin Omar sums it up, “My mom is my best friend.”
David and Omar are representative of the vast majority of Mexican adults I know who have a reverence for, and maintain very close relationships with, their mothers. They party together, vacation together, work together, and many adult children live with their parents.
Mexican mom secret sauce
So what sets Mexican moms apart? What I see is:
- They expect their children to obey them. While we all want our children to obey, I think there is an expectation in America that kids will rebel. There is a line Mexican moms set with their children that must not be crossed. And the kids know it.
- They include children in the work of the family. Along with schoolwork, housework is a child’s principle job. Mothers take the time to teach their children everything from laundry to sewing, cleaning do to cooking. It may take more time when the kids are young, but then children are equipped to participate more fully in the life of the family.
- They include children in the play of the family. Family parties and vacations are the norm. Kids do have activities of their own, but family fun is a regular event, not the exception to the entertainment rule.
- They have a good family support. Until the most recent generations, families were typically large. Those who lived close to each other could offer practical help such as childcare and nursing. Those who lived further away offered valuable emotional support and wisdom.
- They have good community support. Neighbors often live side-by-side for decades. Neighborhoods are typically walkable, with plenty of local shopping and houses that sit close together. People know each other and are there for each other in the good times and the not-so-good times.
Mother-in-love
In early August 2013, David’s parents came to visit from Mexico. His mom was so much more than I expected: She told scandalous stories, danced salsa in the kitchen, drank tequila, and I loved her and knew her son better by knowing her. Happily she loved me, too, because–unbeknownst to me–David was looking for her approval before proposing to me.
When we married a short time later, I got my own Mexican mom. My mother-in-law (which sounds like mother-in-love when David says it), is equal parts nurturing and fun. In return, she inspires the respect and affection of her daughter-in-love.
